time

Hiiiiii guys. I'm posting this via my phone because my wifi can't work and as much as I'd really love to blog, I can't and I'm quite pissed because the wifi thing just doesn't work!!!! And also I'm stuck listening to 987 because it's Friday night and 913 always plays weird genres of music that I don't like. Can't listen to my youtube as well because the stupid phone app can't multitask (let the vid play in the back ground).

Okay so I just came back from camp not that long ago and I remembered how much I didn't want to go because I was afraid I won't make friends and I just didn't want to go. But I'm glad I went and made friends that will be so important to me in the next three years.

So uni officially starts on Monday and I don't know how to feel about that. The pressure is definitely on and there's just so much to be done. That just leaves me so little time to have fun and do the things I love doing. It's always that "back to school" feeling after so long that makes you feel like going back is the worst thing ever. Actually the 5/6 month holiday wasn't that exciting since I was mostly working at that hell hole. But it was still time spent with those people at work. Sigh sometimes I talk so much shit that even I get lost halfway.

Glad that I'm moving on without you because that is definitely the best thing to you. What did I ever do to deserve having someone like you as a part of my life for those few months. Definitely thankful that I grew to be more observant of you and I knew when to withdraw the trust I had for you before everything happened. This also proves again that moms are always right and we should all listen to them. This would definitely be the worst decision I made in my entire life and when I look back, I get so mad because I really want to give myself all the slaps that could have possibly helped to open my eyes to see what a person you really are. Moving on did hurt a little but it was also because I was stupid enough to believe all the rubbish that sprouted from that mouth of yours. The only thing I would change? Is for me to realise this sooner. Nevertheless, I'm still extremely proud of myself for getting rid of a huge jerk like you. You don't deserve to be in my life and you have no right to be.

rant + update

Okay I just kind of want to know, like even fyi or something, like how quickly do you move on after a break up? Does it depend on the sexuality of the person? Like for example, guys move on quicker as compared to girls? Or does it depend on who initiated the break up? 

Well, I always thought it's doesn't make any sense at all when someone (regardless of sexuality), moves on like in one or less than one week. If you were together for like months, and you claimed to have really "loved" that person, how is it that when you guys ended things, you're so ready to find and get into another relationship? I just don't believe in that. It just means that the guy either didn't have any said feelings for you before or that girl's just the rebound girl. Right? 

And how would the other person feel after knowing the other party has moved on? Am I right to say that even if you were the person to initiate the break up and the other party moved on seemingly quick, that you'd feel said party either didn't reciprocate the feelings in the relationship or said party wanted to move on quicker because you weren't worth it and found a rebound. Regardless, won't you feel hurt? Would you be able to wish the person happiness if he/she got over you in one or less than one week, or would you be affected by the situation?

I guess I'm just full of different questions and I just don't understand the point of view from the person who moved on in that short span of time. I understand that there might not be any answers or people to get answers from, which is why I just wanted to put this out and kind of rant a little. 

Just so many questions...

In the other part of my brain that's not busy wondering/thinking about all the content above, is the part so reluctant to head to camp. I really don't know why I'm so hesitant this time, even though I usually liked camps after they're over. I think maybe I just don't want to grow up, and this just feels like it's all happening too quickly. How can I already be in uni? The other reason why I kind of not want to go might be because I really don't think I can make friends. I don't know why I feel that way and I kind of have never felt that way before I go to camps. Maybe it's because I'm at that age where paranoia sets in and I start thinking before doing things, which is another sign that I'm growing up way too quickly. 

I'm just not ready to trade my freedom for a degree. And I might never be...